Discovering your true identity helps you to choose the perfect relationships!
From Series: It's Ok To Be Single
When we know our identity, we won't accidentally connect with the wrong people. We won't form friendships or marry individuals who aren't compatible, and we will establish boundaries to safeguard our purpose.
It's not uncommon for people to adopt and fall into this standard, often without even realizing it. Many individuals find themselves conforming to societal expectations, norms, or standards that dictate how they should behave, who they should befriend, and what kinds of relationships they should pursue.
This tendency can stem from a variety of influences, including family upbringing, cultural background, peer pressure, and media portrayals of relationships. But, without knowing who we are at our core—our values, beliefs, desires, and personal boundaries—we won't accurately know who we should associate with, whether socially or intimately.
This lack of self-awareness can lead us to form connections that may not be in our best interest, resulting in relationships that feel forced or unsatisfying.
Consequently, we may find ourselves in situations where we feel regret or disappointment about the people we've chosen to let into our lives.
Sadly, this is the route many take to be with someone they believe will validate them and gain others' admiration. But entering relationships, especially intimate ones, due to external influences is risky, because it can disrupt our happiness and sabotage our purpose.
However, understanding our true selves allows us to make more informed choices about our relationships, ultimately leading to healthier, more fulfilling connections.
We should never let others define our identity, nor should we define it based on others' opinions. Only the one who created you can define you.
When your identity is grounded in how your Creator perceives you, you won't have to search for your worth, as it will be found with them.
Having your own identity shields you from lies others tell you, thoughts that invade your mind, or lies you tell yourself. You'll begin to see yourself as God sees you: a person created for remarkable things.
Many individuals live under identities given to them by others. They've been told who they are not, so often, that they haven't realized their true selves, particularly those from backgrounds where harmful words created false self-perceptions.
Our identities aren't defined by negative experiences, careers, education, or social status. They're not our failures, successes, or stigmas, nor the identity assumed in relationships where we were considered worthless.
They're not the negative persona formed due to societal judgments based on appearance or behavior, or the damaging words some of us heard in childhood.
Nor is our identity the lies we tell ourselves when comparing ourselves to others, feeling like a mistake, unattractive, or incompetent.
Our identity is who God says we are, and only the Creator can reveal the true nature of His creation.
We were created for more than just working, playing, and dying. We were made for something greater. We were designed to have a relationship with our Creator, and through this bond, we gain wisdom and understanding of the purpose behind our life.
Fulfillment is found through our relationship with our Creator, because without it, we'll continually search for satisfaction. Additionally, we will discover how to love ourselves, identify true love from others, and witness examples of authentic love.
Spending time with our Designer will dismantle the walls of insecurity and self-hate, allowing us to see our worth and value. This will help guide us on the right pathway in life and help us find the right people to go with us on our life's journey.
We ought to seek God to understand our true identity. While meeting everyone's expectations might be impossible, fulfilling God's expectations is achievable.
Understanding who we really are, is the door to the greatest treasure that God has for us — Ana Mendez Ferrell
Birds of a feather flock together
We are influenced by those we associate with. Parents and guardians often warn their children to be mindful of their company, because they know how easily one can be influenced by the people they spend the most time with. And, as it is with people, so it is with God.
Spending time with God reveals one's identity as they start to see themselves through His eyes, especially since we are made in His likeness (Genesis 1:27). The more we connect with God, the more we become like Him (1 John 2:6; Galatians 2:20; Romans 8:29; 2 Corinthians 3:18; 1 Corinthians 11:1) and discern who should be in our life.
Never compromise your authenticity for approval
The more secure you are in yourself, the better prepared you'll be for your true self, and once you discover your identity, you'll love yourself entirely.
Your identity shapes who you are and cultivates your purpose; and discovering or rediscovering it prevents self-devaluation or becoming a replica of someone else.
Not knowing your identity can create or feed insecurity. Insecurity is like wearing blinders when looking in a mirror: it prevents you from seeing your true self, creating a false identity. However, discovering your identity brings a positive mindset and behavior.
Let your true self shine
While you're in your single season, you have the opportunity to uncover your identity and live authentically with your Creator. The purpose of a relationship with God isn't about what you see, but what He sees in you; this has the potential to transform your life forever!
When you understand what being a child of God (John 1:12) means, you won't settle for any kind of relationship. You'll find that settling for anything less than the best in your relationships becomes increasingly unacceptable.
As a believer, you are a child of the Most High King (Romans 8:17), and as such, you are privileged to receive the finest of the finest.
Also, your perspective on relationships will undergo a significant transformation. You'll recognize that you are entitled to a life that reflects His goodness, love, and grace.
Just as God gives us the best, we will only accept the best and we'll have a desire to seek out relationships that mirror these qualities.
You'll prioritize relationships that encourage your spiritual growth and align with your values, ensuring that every connection you nurture enhances your journey as a child of God.
In essence, understanding your divine heritage allows you to pursue relationships that not only enrich your life but also reflect the very best of what God has intended for you.
There are three guaranteed ways to determine who should be with us during our single season, as this season is necessary for our purpose-driven life, and our actions now can greatly impact our future. So, to ensure that we have the right relationships and gain insights into healthy relationships, we should read the Bible, pray, and seek discernment from God.
Like a ladder, each step or rung God places us on elevates us, bringing us nearer to our destiny and into the life we've always dreamed of.
Those who love the Lord will be blessed with the best, receive the finest, and He will delight (Joyful, satisfy (meet the expectation), and gratify (make happy and feel good) them (Psalm 81:16).
Seeing yourself as God does instills confidence to be yourself, regardless of other people's opinions, and singleness offers the solitude needed to do this, find love, stop comparing yourself, and accept who you are, all while motivating you to stay focused on achieving your life goals.
Focusing on yourself while single grants a type of freedom not found in relationships. Therefore, take advantage of this period to embrace and celebrate your uniqueness and see how it fits into your life's purpose.
Lastly, use your season of singleness to discover your identity so you can live with confidence.
From Series: It's Ok To Be Single
This blog was quoted and inspired by the book: It's Ok To Be Single. You can get more information and a sneak peek of the first two chapters here.
🎙 Or... you can SUBSCRIBE and listen to this series on my YouTube channel playlist named "It's Ok To Be Single."
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